What Do I Really Want?

It seems like such a simple question, but the answer is often not quite that simple. The first step in getting what you want and often the hardest, is getting clear on what you want. This has seemed to be quite difficult for me lately. I have felt like my focus has been really scattered. I want to do a lot of things and at the same time don't really want to do anything. It has been hard for me to focus or visualize on any thing because my focus has been so scattered. As I think about one thing. something else pops into my mind.

During a treatment and mediation workshop I went to we did an exercise called the Realization Exercise.  In this exercise we were simply supposed to pair up and ask our partner the same three questions, over and over again for three minutes.

What do you really want?

What form do you see this taking?

What experiences do you desire?

Being the person that likes to have everything figured out, especially if it requires speaking in front of someone else, my first thought was to have a plan, start figuring out my answers before I was even asked. I didn't really think much would come from the exercise, but I decided to just be vulnerable, live into the moment and see what if anything came out of the exercise.

So as my partner asked me "What do you really want", each time I answered with on of the many things I would love to do or have. I want to be financially secure and live a financially abundant life, to help kids, especially those from disadvantage backgrounds improve their lives abroad and locally, to help people improve their life, to be a spiritual thought leader, to be a motivational speaker, to have a successful business, to have a strong presence in fashion, to start a group home, to have a successful tech related start-up, to travel internationally as well as nationally. But the answer that I notice always stayed the same was "What experience (from that) do you desire". That answer was always happiness, joy, freedom, ease and grace. So the last time he asked me what do I really want I realized, what I really want is to be happy, feel joy, feel free, and live with ease and grace. The other things were how I would like to see this take form in my life.

This felt like it gave me a sense of clarify. I know what I really want. I know how I would like this to take form in my life, and I can be open to other avenues that may bring me the happiness, joy, freedom, ease and grace that I desire.